Jenna-Marbles-1

Billion Click Chick

Jenna Marbles, age 26 has been crowned the queen of Youtube with a billion clicks. Now I know my Sex Workers are wondering what type freak shit is this chick doing to More »

Honest-Cop-Refuses-Bribe

Hard Out Here For A Pimp: Pimp Accused Of Cop-Bribing

Ever heard of an honest cop? Didn’t think so, but the shocking truth is they do exist! Officer Joe Ferrero of the Philadelphia Police Department is one such individual according to a More »

High-Heel-Work-Out-Class

High Heel Work Out Class. Hot Or Not?

Aspiring entrepreneur, Kamilah Barrett, 34, created a new work-out class called “Heel Hop.” I thought this might be interesting to Sex Workers because it deals with High Heels and the “Hop” is More »

Monsignor-Kevin-Wallin-Land-of-Oz-Sex-Shop

Priest Was A Drug Dealing Porn Shop Owner

Holy shit! Monsignor Kevin Wallin, 61, from the St. Augustine Church in Bridgeport Connecticut is accused of being a drug dealing, porn shop owning, cross-dresser who was a swinger for Jesus. What’s More »

School-Aide-Exposed-As-Wannabe-Porn-Star

School aide Exposed As Wannabe Porn Star

A Brooklyn school aide, Michael Alberti, 31, got caught with his pants down when investigators exposed his scheme to become a porn star. The stupid school aide, formerly employed by Juan Moral More »

Proof- Sex Workers have The Highest I.Q

Scream, shout, pop bottles! Celebrate! A recent article in the news shows that more and more college educated girls are coming out the closet and admitting to wanting a sugar daddy. Does More »

Welfare-Spending-On-Booze-and-Hoez

Farewell To Welfare. Spending Welfare Money On Booze and Hoez

Just what Sex Workers needed—conservative newspaper, The New York Post, recently obtained the transfer records for the benefit cards (better known in the hood as the “welfare card”), from January 2011 to More »

Lindsay-Lohan-Haiji-Abdul-Azim

Lindsay Lohan – A Sex Worker?

According to a bombshell report from Star Magazine, Lindsay Lohan received 100,000 dollars to attend Prince Haji Abdul Azim’s, London’s New Year’s celebration. Those of us “in the know” won’t classify Lindsay’s More »

Category Archives: EAT ME!

ARIZONA- THE BURRITO STATE

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Phoenix Arizona is considering legislation to make the fried burrito, professionally known as the “chimichanga”, the states’ official food. Burritos have been a staple of Mexican cuisine for centuries but who actually fried the first one has become legendary folklore. Macayo’s Mexican Kitchen in Phoenix is the driving force behind the legislation.

SEAGRAM’S GIN AND JUICE

Seagrams-Gin-Juice

This is for all the dudes that were once brainwashed by Snoop Dogg and tricked themselves into thinking bitches would come into their living rooms and get it on. Seagram’s Gin and Juice line, which was made famous by Snoop’s song Gin and Juice is Gin mixed with various fruit flavorings with sporty names such as “Blue Beast”.

PIMPIN’ DRINKS

Cranberry-And-Vodka

This is the act of getting a person to buy you a drink with no intention of consuming alcohol. Inform the bartender beforehand to hold the vodka every time you order your cranberry and Vodka. By the end of the night, with a clear head watch how whatever you tryna accomplish materializes. If your game is on one million, take a shot at convincing the bartender to give you some kickbacks off the game you put him on to. The price difference of alcohol and non-alcoholic beverages is off the charts. Get your money smiling!

BUY YOU A DRINK

drink

Hemingway once said “always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.” Alcohol myopia is a fancy way of saying you drank too much. Being that most sex workers work in, or around areas surrounded by drugs and liquor, here’s some advice on how to stay on your square without becoming a square.

Ever notice how you make absurd statements while you’re drunk? Excess alcohol gives you false courage.

I CANZ AND I WILL

Canz Girls

An all-out war is brewing on Long Island between front wheel drive specialist “Hooters” and up and coming contenders “Canz”. The restaurant business is a tough wave to ride, so these two chains have embraced the power of Sex Workers in alluring attire to surf in more customers. Canz owners, Tim Lorito and Matthew dill decided to compete against Hooters after finding out nobody dare to step in the ring with them. So far they opened up in long island at a nearby Hooter location and have been successful getting waitresses to cross over and kick the Canz for the new team.